May 10, 2009
00.15
Hhhmm.. What can I say? Again, the remote control is not within me. I know the process of making my self as the source of my own happiness is not easy. I believe each time I pass one wall I’ll get another to face and the labyrinth is one step closer to the end.
I should’ve listened to my heart that not this guy, not now to fall. And again, my feeling is wildly running everywhere, without control. It’s just like my breath in every last part of my yoga session. I let the feeling running without control. Hhh..
Thank God, really I thank God for always being so nice to me and taking care of my heart. As soon as I decide to fall, the clue is right there that I shouldn’t let my feeling grow for this barely new person.
Do not ever trust anyone but yourself. Again, my dependency of other should be pulled through. I must take the remote control of my life and hold it tight, so no one can ever remove it.
Hhhhhmm… The book! I have to finish it soon, so I can get the motivation I really need. To be happy and get whatever I want in life. :)
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
What is my requirement?
May 9, 2009
00.45
This is a simple question. Someone asked me about this. I took more than five minutes to answer it though. What is my requirement for my partner? After all relationships I have been through all these times, now I realize that all I ever needed is just a simple guy. Honesty is taking first place. I don’t like to be cheated. I believe no one does. I had been there before and knew exactly how it felt. Even white lies, I quite disagree with it. It hurts. Nice heart is the second requirement. Why? It is because this guy has to be nice to people around him. Doing well is a reflection of his faith to God. Loving his family is a must. How can he love his future family if he doesn’t start it now, from his own? :D
He is certainly has to be my chat buddy. Our conversation is just like a river flowing naturally and connected. We have to understand each other words. Communication is very important. This is to create convenience atmosphere, even when we’re on a fight or two. Well, I do not hope for the latest. Last but the best part is he has to be a joke person or at least funny. I want to spend the rest of my life with someone who naturally funny because I love laughing, not comedian off course. Usually, comedian gets so serious in their daily life. Why? Because comedian only funny when we pay them. Certainly this will drop me soon! :D
My requirements are that simple. Above all, I have to have heart for this guy. :)
00.45
This is a simple question. Someone asked me about this. I took more than five minutes to answer it though. What is my requirement for my partner? After all relationships I have been through all these times, now I realize that all I ever needed is just a simple guy. Honesty is taking first place. I don’t like to be cheated. I believe no one does. I had been there before and knew exactly how it felt. Even white lies, I quite disagree with it. It hurts. Nice heart is the second requirement. Why? It is because this guy has to be nice to people around him. Doing well is a reflection of his faith to God. Loving his family is a must. How can he love his future family if he doesn’t start it now, from his own? :D
He is certainly has to be my chat buddy. Our conversation is just like a river flowing naturally and connected. We have to understand each other words. Communication is very important. This is to create convenience atmosphere, even when we’re on a fight or two. Well, I do not hope for the latest. Last but the best part is he has to be a joke person or at least funny. I want to spend the rest of my life with someone who naturally funny because I love laughing, not comedian off course. Usually, comedian gets so serious in their daily life. Why? Because comedian only funny when we pay them. Certainly this will drop me soon! :D
My requirements are that simple. Above all, I have to have heart for this guy. :)
Decide to be happy!
May 7, 2009
08.45
I am now reading an NLP book, titled ‘Be Happy! Get What You Want!!’. I may say this is an interesting and addicting subject to get to know to. Changing paradigm of life, make people living their life in different way, extraordinary life. Really, it’s very interesting to know that we have the strongest decision to every thing happen in our life.
Well, this book makes it even clearer. Yes, we ourselves decide to experience such feelings. The author is questioning, why can’t we be happy all the time without reason? There’s an example he continued explain. Most people do feel bad sense or mood suddenly without reason, and why can’t we treat happiness the same way?
Actually, this point of view more and less had been briefly mentioned in my previous posting. Being happy is our own decision. You can start it as soon as you wake up early in the morning, to be happy. Or, if you’re having difficulties in creating this feeling just do simple thing that you usually do when you’re happy, smiling, for example. By smiling, I guaranty happiness is spreading to you, even in small piece. So, be happy now and get whatever you want! :D
08.45
I am now reading an NLP book, titled ‘Be Happy! Get What You Want!!’. I may say this is an interesting and addicting subject to get to know to. Changing paradigm of life, make people living their life in different way, extraordinary life. Really, it’s very interesting to know that we have the strongest decision to every thing happen in our life.
Well, this book makes it even clearer. Yes, we ourselves decide to experience such feelings. The author is questioning, why can’t we be happy all the time without reason? There’s an example he continued explain. Most people do feel bad sense or mood suddenly without reason, and why can’t we treat happiness the same way?
Actually, this point of view more and less had been briefly mentioned in my previous posting. Being happy is our own decision. You can start it as soon as you wake up early in the morning, to be happy. Or, if you’re having difficulties in creating this feeling just do simple thing that you usually do when you’re happy, smiling, for example. By smiling, I guaranty happiness is spreading to you, even in small piece. So, be happy now and get whatever you want! :D
Sunday, March 15, 2009
The Secret of Life
I finally finished reading THE SECRET. A bit too late, while everyone few months even years earlier and the CD was released already too but I still prefer to read the book instead of watching it. Better late than never, right?
It is about life sharing of how can people across and walk through all paths easily. The secret of having this life as bliss is being grateful and positive. See this life through much positive point of views then all positive things will come visit you more and more till you have not enough space for them. You can have ANYTHING you ever wanted. I mean ANYTHING, as long as you have faith. Believing that your wish is already true the moment you whisper it then time will belong to universe to bring it on, in years, months, days even seconds, you will never know till it happens.
The tendency of this world is talking bad things and makes it as if wanting more and more people concern to it. Well, I don’t say that it’s wrong but there’s a better way to pursue people. Change the subject from negative to positive way so all good things come closer and happen to you. The hope is always there. All you need is ready to be earned in this universe. It’s available and your part as well, will never had by others. It is yours and waiting for your call. Don’t waste the time. Start now to imagine that what yours is yours and it is coming close to you.
Pursuit of happiness, I strongly agree to this phrase. Happiness can only be pursued by the self who really wanting happiness to be the biggest part of his/her life. That also makes the one who can change destiny in life is the self not others, only the one self.
Holiday at Office
January 6, 2009 : 18.30pm
We just passed our Christmas and Year End holidays for two whole weeks, even more for some parties. People were waiting for this off days, being able to be away for whiles from daily routines. Happy, excited and flowery were most feelings welcoming the holiday.
I visited my beloved parent in Bali at for five days. I did outdoor and splashy activities most days. It was unusual. I usually terrified and feared each time facing the heat of the sun directly. For this reason, I most likely avoided outdoor activities. Anyway, I enjoyed myself very much playing with the sun and tanned my skin. It was sexy and considered myself very lucky indeed for the joyful and playful moment in my home land.
The holidays were very refreshing and energizing. The day I return to office, I was becoming a happier person. I realized that this home land visit will only happen again next twelve months. So I tried to cherish days passed in Bali.
Yet, I want to share you another exciting moment happen to me lately. My special holiday edition at office officially started on December 3rd, 2008. I have a new job, new office, new boss and new partners. I thanked God for these gifts and still do. I am so happy and wait every working day. Weekend is no longer as excited as in old days. Monday is my most favorite day as Friday gone by.
Time passes really fast at work now as if my old dating times. Arrive at 7 am in a blink or two the clock tickles to 12 pm for lunch break then runs to 5 pm, so I prefer to stay late for another two or three hours at office. By the way, it’s a month already I becoming part of this company. O dear, time is really running. I enjoy each cherish day at office and take my part with all my heart. I work for my God and for the only reason, loving God. My holiday moment at office is the same moment I make love with The Lord. I am deeply in love now. I do every activity at office as if there is no tomorrow, in good way of course. This belief of enjoying holiday at work is certainly made the real holiday coming faster than I thought.
I have the hope and get more convinced later after watching my favorite TV show of Mario Teguh. We shall treat our working day as if it holiday so every thing you do will fill by excitement and happiness. I also remember wisdom words from my boss, working is paid learning time. Just act like you are student and get paycheck from your studying. Isn’t it fun? You learn something, get skillful and the paid is your monthly bonus. What a life I have. Thank you, dear God.
We just passed our Christmas and Year End holidays for two whole weeks, even more for some parties. People were waiting for this off days, being able to be away for whiles from daily routines. Happy, excited and flowery were most feelings welcoming the holiday.
I visited my beloved parent in Bali at for five days. I did outdoor and splashy activities most days. It was unusual. I usually terrified and feared each time facing the heat of the sun directly. For this reason, I most likely avoided outdoor activities. Anyway, I enjoyed myself very much playing with the sun and tanned my skin. It was sexy and considered myself very lucky indeed for the joyful and playful moment in my home land.
The holidays were very refreshing and energizing. The day I return to office, I was becoming a happier person. I realized that this home land visit will only happen again next twelve months. So I tried to cherish days passed in Bali.
Yet, I want to share you another exciting moment happen to me lately. My special holiday edition at office officially started on December 3rd, 2008. I have a new job, new office, new boss and new partners. I thanked God for these gifts and still do. I am so happy and wait every working day. Weekend is no longer as excited as in old days. Monday is my most favorite day as Friday gone by.
Time passes really fast at work now as if my old dating times. Arrive at 7 am in a blink or two the clock tickles to 12 pm for lunch break then runs to 5 pm, so I prefer to stay late for another two or three hours at office. By the way, it’s a month already I becoming part of this company. O dear, time is really running. I enjoy each cherish day at office and take my part with all my heart. I work for my God and for the only reason, loving God. My holiday moment at office is the same moment I make love with The Lord. I am deeply in love now. I do every activity at office as if there is no tomorrow, in good way of course. This belief of enjoying holiday at work is certainly made the real holiday coming faster than I thought.
I have the hope and get more convinced later after watching my favorite TV show of Mario Teguh. We shall treat our working day as if it holiday so every thing you do will fill by excitement and happiness. I also remember wisdom words from my boss, working is paid learning time. Just act like you are student and get paycheck from your studying. Isn’t it fun? You learn something, get skillful and the paid is your monthly bonus. What a life I have. Thank you, dear God.
Letter to God - the answer
December 18th, 2008
Dear God,
I really appreciate and thankful for every cherish moment in my life. I believe they are YOUR gifts. In my last letter, I asked for guardian angel and yes, YOU’ve sent me right away. Now the angel is guarding and guiding me, puts smiles on my face.
For every thing I asked and had blessed from YOU, I thank YOU. This angel is really special to me. One is a great listener and yes, it’s because you know exactly I need to be listened. One also has the most sincere heart and positive attitude which I believe is now spreading to me. One makes me realize that faith exists and we both meet by faith. The feeling is already there and gets tighten ever since we first met. It’s really glad having one around.
GOD, thank YOU so much for sending me a great person, an angel. I will do anything to keep my angel the way one is.
Now, I need YOUR bless to me behave and doing good. Keep my heart from taking what is instead of wanting more. I need YOU to taking care my heart more, coz it usually runs wildly without control.
Convince me of every right or wrong I will take, so YOUR path is the one I step always.
Thank YOU once again dear GOD. I will return to YOU again soon. I love YOU, GOD.
xoxo
TaRi
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
A Letter to Dear God..
My room, December 1st 2008, 18.15pm
Dear God..
I am so tired and it's definitely not my body. It is my heart, mind and soul. Lately, they worked so hard for me and my life. Needless to mention things happened in life, I just want to give them a short break to hibernate or maybe a long one. A refreshment is really needed at the moment, but I still can't figure the kind of refreshment fits for them.
Really, I need your help (as I always do), dear God. Please send me your guardian angels to take care of me more, right now. I need them. I need something to calm and refresh me so the energy will be filled and pumped to maximum level again.
I really look like a desperate person in a weak body. Help me to stop weeping especially in my heart. I am so tired.
Bye for now, dear God, will return to You soon.. I love You..
xoxo
TaRi
Dear God..
I am so tired and it's definitely not my body. It is my heart, mind and soul. Lately, they worked so hard for me and my life. Needless to mention things happened in life, I just want to give them a short break to hibernate or maybe a long one. A refreshment is really needed at the moment, but I still can't figure the kind of refreshment fits for them.
Really, I need your help (as I always do), dear God. Please send me your guardian angels to take care of me more, right now. I need them. I need something to calm and refresh me so the energy will be filled and pumped to maximum level again.
I really look like a desperate person in a weak body. Help me to stop weeping especially in my heart. I am so tired.
Bye for now, dear God, will return to You soon.. I love You..
xoxo
TaRi
SELF-IMAGE
My room, December 1st 2008, 15.00pm
I know someone who really cares about self-image, good one for sure. It is a good point of us building good self-image. How do you do that? In my opinion, after a discussion or two with some good friends, good self-image comes from good attitude with sincere from heart. No matter what you do, as far as, you're doing good and sincere, then people around you will feel it by their heart. But if, all your good attitudes are fake or you're doing good for particular intention, people around you will also feel the insincerity of yours.
If you're trying too hard to build your self-image, then don't, coz something in force is also not good. Just let the self-image built naturally and let people around you be the judges. Be good and be sincere, believe me, God and the city are never sleep. You will get anything you seed. Give and share with no expectation in return, from that you'll get unexpected miracles in life.
I myself still far from having good self-image. From now on and then, all I have to do is doing good to God, to myself, to people around and surround with all my sincerity in heart. I have the faith, good karma comes from good attitude and miracles arrive from small good things. Let's us just doing good and be sincere, then good self-image will grow naturally along with your maturity. :)
Do not forget to keep smiling coz good attitude start from smiling face within smiling heart. :)
I know someone who really cares about self-image, good one for sure. It is a good point of us building good self-image. How do you do that? In my opinion, after a discussion or two with some good friends, good self-image comes from good attitude with sincere from heart. No matter what you do, as far as, you're doing good and sincere, then people around you will feel it by their heart. But if, all your good attitudes are fake or you're doing good for particular intention, people around you will also feel the insincerity of yours.
If you're trying too hard to build your self-image, then don't, coz something in force is also not good. Just let the self-image built naturally and let people around you be the judges. Be good and be sincere, believe me, God and the city are never sleep. You will get anything you seed. Give and share with no expectation in return, from that you'll get unexpected miracles in life.
I myself still far from having good self-image. From now on and then, all I have to do is doing good to God, to myself, to people around and surround with all my sincerity in heart. I have the faith, good karma comes from good attitude and miracles arrive from small good things. Let's us just doing good and be sincere, then good self-image will grow naturally along with your maturity. :)
Do not forget to keep smiling coz good attitude start from smiling face within smiling heart. :)
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Happy vs Anger
My room, November 29th 2008, 01:00 am
Today, there are two upside down situations happening related to part of my previous relationships in the past. One of them is about my former boyfriend in Bali who visit Jakarta and I have a chance to meet him.
I prayed my wish before I fell asleep last night and there he was in my dream. He was very clear visualized there so made me call him in the following morning. Then, surprise! He's here in Jakarta. After a call and message or two, we finally arrange a meeting, short one. I am extremely happy and can't stop my self smiling with the blushing on my cheek. :) It's a situation where I am so excited to the fullest and this very rare to happen. Really, I thankful for this happiness and joy he brings. I do appreciate his willing to spare time just to meet me in the middle of his tight agenda in Jakarta, even though it is less than thirty minutes which is more than enough to make me want to scream out loud telling every one how I am so damn waiting this happy moment.
We chatted, light conversations. Please, shoot me for this beautiful sin, the eye contacts. I can feel the vibe, two years ago when I was still with him. Darn, it's been two years now. His smile, the way he talked, his light jokes and the most I admire in him is his sincerity and down to earth personality. Nothing much change in him, he's still the way he was. He was a nice, gentle and humble person and still is. I am dying to meet him and this is the answer to all my prayers. Thank you God, thank you a million is never enough. :) There's an undone wish that I'll always pray for him.
By the way, we plan to meet again some times on Saturday or Sunday. I'm hoping so much. *crossing finger*
That is the happy part of me today. While the other part is anger and sadness. He was my last boyfriend that still in touch continuously by phone. He says he still loves me and misses me. We talk over a call or two in midnight, quite long conversations. We talk about how we were, how he was and how I was. All is n past tense. It seems like we mourn the past. :( I was like this and now like that so did he. Everything arrives in anger and tear. I feel pain a lot and can't handle it, no more, so I tell him to stop. We can't change the past. It already happened.
I realized that I do change a lot to be more like him in negative way, I may say, sorry. I don't like it neither. So I tell him to return what he had taken away from me. The calm, patient and polite me, I really want them back. Really, from him I want to release. I don't want becoming him. I love myself the way I was.
We had the same wish, or at least he says had one after I tell him about my wish. After the pray about wanting him or him wanting me as life partner, God revealed bad attitudes of each one of us. So made us reconsider our wish and finally came to a decision, the break up. May be destiny between us has to be ended now. So no one will get hurt in the future coz what I feel from this last relationship is we both only hurt each other. One is a mirror to the other.
Believe me, meeting a mirror of yourself is really painful and I am not ready to hurt myself for the rest of my life so I prefer to give up now, for our own goodness. I don't want having a relationship where one another is blaming and confronting. It is very tiring to get through one like that.
Anger, it is what I feel along the conversations, and tears. I hate my self now for being changed to negative one and I want to reverse it as the way I was. I hope can manage myself to be more like me, not like him.
Today, there are two upside down situations happening related to part of my previous relationships in the past. One of them is about my former boyfriend in Bali who visit Jakarta and I have a chance to meet him.
I prayed my wish before I fell asleep last night and there he was in my dream. He was very clear visualized there so made me call him in the following morning. Then, surprise! He's here in Jakarta. After a call and message or two, we finally arrange a meeting, short one. I am extremely happy and can't stop my self smiling with the blushing on my cheek. :) It's a situation where I am so excited to the fullest and this very rare to happen. Really, I thankful for this happiness and joy he brings. I do appreciate his willing to spare time just to meet me in the middle of his tight agenda in Jakarta, even though it is less than thirty minutes which is more than enough to make me want to scream out loud telling every one how I am so damn waiting this happy moment.
We chatted, light conversations. Please, shoot me for this beautiful sin, the eye contacts. I can feel the vibe, two years ago when I was still with him. Darn, it's been two years now. His smile, the way he talked, his light jokes and the most I admire in him is his sincerity and down to earth personality. Nothing much change in him, he's still the way he was. He was a nice, gentle and humble person and still is. I am dying to meet him and this is the answer to all my prayers. Thank you God, thank you a million is never enough. :) There's an undone wish that I'll always pray for him.
By the way, we plan to meet again some times on Saturday or Sunday. I'm hoping so much. *crossing finger*
That is the happy part of me today. While the other part is anger and sadness. He was my last boyfriend that still in touch continuously by phone. He says he still loves me and misses me. We talk over a call or two in midnight, quite long conversations. We talk about how we were, how he was and how I was. All is n past tense. It seems like we mourn the past. :( I was like this and now like that so did he. Everything arrives in anger and tear. I feel pain a lot and can't handle it, no more, so I tell him to stop. We can't change the past. It already happened.
I realized that I do change a lot to be more like him in negative way, I may say, sorry. I don't like it neither. So I tell him to return what he had taken away from me. The calm, patient and polite me, I really want them back. Really, from him I want to release. I don't want becoming him. I love myself the way I was.
We had the same wish, or at least he says had one after I tell him about my wish. After the pray about wanting him or him wanting me as life partner, God revealed bad attitudes of each one of us. So made us reconsider our wish and finally came to a decision, the break up. May be destiny between us has to be ended now. So no one will get hurt in the future coz what I feel from this last relationship is we both only hurt each other. One is a mirror to the other.
Believe me, meeting a mirror of yourself is really painful and I am not ready to hurt myself for the rest of my life so I prefer to give up now, for our own goodness. I don't want having a relationship where one another is blaming and confronting. It is very tiring to get through one like that.
Anger, it is what I feel along the conversations, and tears. I hate my self now for being changed to negative one and I want to reverse it as the way I was. I hope can manage myself to be more like me, not like him.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Birthday Wish..
The truth is I now feel so miserable. It's your birthday and not like I always did to all my bf, those surprises, sweet ones I bet, I can't make it to you now. You're no longer a boyfriend to mine though I have to admit I still keep the feeling to you. Yet, it is my selfish that tells me not to beg to you. I asked for the break up and should I take back my words? I don't think so dear..
Anyway, even though our relationship is so over I can't stop my self to congratulate you on your BIG day through those messages, calls and this post. HAPPY BIRTHDAY and the wishes are too many to be mentioned. For sure, I will pray for you to be a better man and always be the good guy. I don't want you to be great, not yet, until you're ready. Being great is way to hard for a person like you. That is why, on your 33rd birthday I ask something to be lessened in you to make you Mr. Right, if it's not for me, I'm sure you will for some one out there. Quite a strange wish yah? It's me dear, always dare to be different. I love and enjoy myself much to be different, to be the center of attraction. :)
Once again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY WAYAN MEGA BUDIARTHA. May the blessings be with you.. Don't forget to blow the candle and make your own wishes..
I dedicate this post to you with all my heart.
Anyway, even though our relationship is so over I can't stop my self to congratulate you on your BIG day through those messages, calls and this post. HAPPY BIRTHDAY and the wishes are too many to be mentioned. For sure, I will pray for you to be a better man and always be the good guy. I don't want you to be great, not yet, until you're ready. Being great is way to hard for a person like you. That is why, on your 33rd birthday I ask something to be lessened in you to make you Mr. Right, if it's not for me, I'm sure you will for some one out there. Quite a strange wish yah? It's me dear, always dare to be different. I love and enjoy myself much to be different, to be the center of attraction. :)
Once again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY WAYAN MEGA BUDIARTHA. May the blessings be with you.. Don't forget to blow the candle and make your own wishes..
I dedicate this post to you with all my heart.
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